My reclassification journey was one of the most challenging yet faith-affirming experiences of my teaching career. From start to finish, I could truly say that it was not my own strength that carried me through—it was God’s.

Open Ranking

I remember feeling so anxious during the open ranking. Most of my certificates were about mental health, guidance and counseling, and youth leadership. I was worried because they were not directly related to classroom teaching, and I feared they might not be credited. Still, I stood my ground and tried to explain how those trainings shaped me as a teacher—how they helped me connect better with students and support their well-being.

Unfortunately, my first assessor didn’t accept my explanation. I felt defeated and almost lost hope. But then, God intervened. The session with that assessor was unexpectedly cut short, and I was reassigned to another one. This new assessor, together with another reviewer, carefully went through my certificates and decided that my trainings were indeed valuable and relevant. What I expected to earn only 4 points became a perfect 10 points. That moment reminded me that when things don’t go as planned, it’s because God has a better plan waiting.

Teaching Demonstration

My next challenge came during my teaching demonstration. I was down with a high fever caused by tonsillitis, and speaking was painful. To make things worse, I realized I had forgotten to bring the materials I prepared for the student activity. I felt weak, unprepared, and nervous.

But again, God strengthened me. Despite the pain in my throat, I managed to teach with enthusiasm. I felt His presence giving me energy and clarity. Halfway through my lesson, my observer stopped me and said, “You don’t need to continue—I’m already impressed.” He gave me a perfect score. I was speechless, not because of pride, but because I knew it was God who made it possible.

Portfolio Annotations and Behavioral Interview

When it was time for the portfolio annotation and behavioral interview, I noticed many around me were cramming and seemed very tense. But I felt calm. It was as if God was whispering, “You’ve done your part; trust Me with the rest.” I finished my annotations early and confidently.

During my interview, I was blessed with a kind and friendly interviewer. She listened attentively, smiled often, and later told me she was impressed with how I expressed my thoughts. I received another perfect score.

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Looking back, I realize that every step of this journey was guided by God’s hand. When I was weak, He gave me strength. When I was uncertain, He provided clarity. And when I felt discouraged, He reminded me that His timing is always perfect.

My reclassification journey was more than just a professional milestone—it was a testimony of faith. God didn’t just help me pass; He showed me that with Him, even the impossible becomes possible.

When I think of my childhood, I think of her—my grandmother. She was my safe place in a world that sometimes felt too cruel for a child. Whenever my mother’s anger found its way to me, I would run to my grandmother’s arms, trembling and crying. She would hold me close, shielding me as if her embrace could stop all the pain. And in many ways, it did.

She was more than a grandmother; she was my protector, my comfort, and my first glimpse of unconditional love. She cared for me in quiet but powerful ways. Every time she visited our home, she never came empty-handed. Before she left, she would press a small bill into my palm, whispering, “Ayaw ipakita sa mama nimo ha,” her eyes full of love and mischief.

She knew my fondness for animals, so sometimes she would bring me a live bird—a small, fluttering gift that made me feel seen and special. I remember her smile as she handed it to me, her eyes lighting up at my joy. She had so little, yet she gave so much.

When I reached high school, she sold her pig just to buy me new clothes. I didn’t fully understand then what sacrifice meant. Only now do I realize how much she gave up for me—how she chose my happiness over her own comfort.

As the years passed, I grew older and life became heavier. When she fell sick, I wanted to give back even a fraction of what she gave me—but I couldn’t. I had nothing to offer but my presence, and even that felt too little. I watched her grow weaker, and the guilt grew stronger inside me.

Now, I often find myself wishing I could turn back time—to hug her longer, to tell her how much she meant to me, to show her the love she deserved. If only I could go back, I would make sure she knew that everything I am today is because of her.

She may be gone, but her love remains—the kind of love that never fades, the kind that built the person I’ve become.

My grandmother was my protector. My safe haven. My heart’s first home.

One quiet afternoon, I did something unexpected—I set up my camping tent right in the middle of my living room. The green and orange fabric looked almost out of place against the polished floor, the television on the wall, and the stuffed toys nearby. But once I crawled inside, zipped it shut, and lay down with a blanket, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time: the kind of safety I knew as a child.

It brought back memories of the forts I used to build with pillows and blankets. Back then, the world outside didn’t matter; inside my little fortress, I was secure. Lying there as an adult, I realized I was doing the same thing—retreating to a small, safe space because life outside sometimes feels too big.

Psychologists actually have a word for this—regression. Anna Freud once described it as a way the mind slips back into earlier stages of life when we’re stressed or overwhelmed. For a long time, I thought of that as weakness. But the longer I stayed in my little tent, the more I understood it differently.

The pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott wrote about “transitional spaces”—those places or objects, like toys or imaginative play, that help us process reality and find comfort. As I lay there, I realized this tent was my transitional space. It wasn’t just about hiding; it was about creating a cocoon where I could breathe again.

And as I reflected more, I remembered reading Patricia Cramer’s work, where she explained that regression doesn’t always have to be destructive. In fact, when it isn’t excessive, it can be a healthy coping mechanism—a pause button that helps us restore balance before moving forward again. That was exactly how it felt. I wasn’t escaping life forever. I was simply giving myself permission to rest.

I smiled in the dim light of the tent. Maybe survival doesn’t always look like conquering mountains or pushing through exhaustion. Sometimes, it looks like curling up in a small space, listening to the quiet, and remembering what it felt like to be safe.

So now, I don’t see regression as weakness. I see it as a gentle return to the things that once gave me comfort. And maybe that’s what we all need sometimes—a reminder that even as adults, we still deserve moments of softness, play, and peace.

Life has always felt like a mountain before me—steep, unyielding, and endless. From childhood, I learned early that each step upward demanded more than strength; it demanded sacrifice. I never dreamt of palaces or golden crowns. Extravagance was never my compass. Instead, I longed only for the dignity of survival, the quiet victory of making it through another day.

Yet, the climb was never gentle. Hunger was a constant companion, doubt lingered like a shadow, and loneliness pressed down heavier than any pack I carried on my back. My journey through school, through work, through life itself, often felt like walking barefoot on jagged stones—painful, slow, and uncertain. And there was a time, a dark time, when the mountain’s weight nearly crushed me. I almost surrendered—not just to exhaustion, but to the silence of an end. I stood at the edge of giving up my very life, ready to let the climb consume me.

But something—perhaps a whisper from within, perhaps the stubborn ember of hope—pulled me back. I tightened my grip, steadied my breath, and rose again. Bruised, yes. Scarred, yes. But still alive.

Now, as I stand on this cliff, watching the sea stretch infinitely before me, I see my journey reflected in its vastness. I may not be rich, not in the way the world measures wealth, but I am rich in endurance, in lessons carved by hardship, in the strength I wrestled from despair. My climb has been solitary, my path narrow and steep. Perhaps if someone had walked beside me, the trail would have been lighter, the air easier to breathe. But life chose to make me climb alone, and I have learned to accept that solitude as both a burden and a gift.

I have reached this point—not the peak, perhaps, but a height I once thought impossible. The mountain behind me is proof that I did not surrender, that I carried myself through storms and shadows. And now, as I gaze ahead, I choose not to look back with bitterness. I choose acceptance. The climb is not over, but I will move forward, step after step, carrying only courage and the quiet knowing that I survived when I almost gave up everything.

This is my story. This is my mountain. And though I am climbing alone, I am still climbing.

The forest floor is soft beneath my feet, a carpet of fallen pine needles that hushes the noise of the world. My small tent leans gently against the wind, a humble shelter, yet it feels sturdier than the concrete walls I once called home. A chair, a table, a few supplies, and a ginger cat curled by my side—that is all I need.

At forty, I have found comfort in solitude. Some would call it loneliness, but I have learned to see it differently. Solitude is not an absence; it is a presence—the presence of peace, of stillness, of listening to my own breath and the rhythm of my own heart.

I came to the woods not just to camp, but to heal. For years, I carried the weight of other people’s expectations, the noise of shallow friendships, and the silent battles of my own mind. Anxiety once gnawed at me like a restless creature; depression whispered that I was not enough. But here, beneath the trees, I find a different truth: the earth does not ask me to be more than I am. It simply lets me be.

The forest teaches me the language of mental health in the gentlest ways. The rustle of leaves reminds me that even when things fall apart, life continues. The steady flow of the river mirrors the importance of letting go, of not holding on too tightly to pain. And the cat at my feet, calm and unbothered, shows me that rest is not laziness—it is survival.

In my younger years, I surrounded myself with many people, mistaking numbers for worth. But mental health has taught me otherwise. Having a few real friends—those who listen, those who understand, those who accept my silences—is worth more than a crowd of voices that echo only when it is convenient. It is better to sit in quiet sincerity with one true soul than to laugh loudly with a hundred who do not see you.

Living alone at forty is not a tragedy. It is a gift. It allows me to slow down, to breathe, to listen to the small, healing things of life. My tent is not just a shelter—it is my cocoon, where I am slowly becoming lighter. My chair, planted on the soil, reminds me to stay grounded. And every sip of coffee I take by the river feels like medicine for a weary heart.

The world outside will always be noisy, but here in solitude, I find the kind of silence that restores me. And perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all: to choose not the life that others expect of me, but the life that keeps me whole.

I have seen God's work as He constantly use people in Praise Cathedral. No matter what the age are or the gender or status in life, God equally open the chance to all His children to be used in the different ministries. I have seen the men and women offered their songs, the youth their dances and the kids with their amusing presentations. Each time I see them perform, these children of God never fail to amaze me. They have always been an instrument of God's plan not only in my life but for the lives of others as well. 

Today is not an ordinary day. Not because my whole family came over to celebrate the holiday with me but because I have learned something important. Something that touches my life and rekindled my spirit. The Kings Kids of Praise Cathedral presented a musical special entitled "Little Drummer Boy". It is a story of young kids and their drummer whose view about music was changed by their teacher. From a complicated note they have transformed music into a simple melody of God's plan.

The story taught me that our talent won't be meaningful if not used to please God. There was a point in my life where I worked hard and yet I failed several times. I asked God why? but I never got an answer, that question lingered into mind until today. Now, I have realized that I have worked hard and used my God given talent only to satisfy my earthly dreams, to please people and be popular. I have worked so much in vain because I have never learned to offer my talent in order to serve my creator. 

Like Shaun the young drummer in the story, I experienced being broke not only once but over and over again.   I have been complaining why... but now I understand. I have to be broken so that God can work in my life. Only when I am weak that I see Him working for me... strengthening me each day. Only when I am broken that I see a new hope and that should have been a signal for me to start over in God's will. But I have been blind, not until today that I fully seen the entire image of His grace. 

Mathew chapter 11 verse 15 says "He who has ears, Let him hear" . Now I understand that not all can hear the music that God plays in our heart. Only those who understand His plan will be able to hear it. I am most glad because I have heard a new song, a music I have never heard before. A song of my love, my romance with the one who molded me from clay and breathe me with a breathe of life. 

I know, it is not only me who have realized these things. I believe that God have also revealed this message to the rest of the congregation. Thank you Kings kids, you have made my Christmas meaningful and blessed.

by Jayson

Photos credited to Ryan Cardone

Life, I have learned, is much like swimming in the ocean. No matter how strong we think we are, no matter how prepared we feel to face the waves, there are moments when the tide takes us by surprise. One moment we are floating with ease, and the next we are pulled under—spinning, struggling, gasping for air. If we fight against the current, it only becomes harder to rise. But if we surrender, if we learn to float, the waters will carry us back to the surface.

Grief feels very much the same way. Losing someone we love comes like a wave—sudden, forceful, and overwhelming. It leaves us disoriented and aching, desperately asking questions we may never fully answer. Yet, just as in the ocean, the only way to endure grief is to hold on to trust, to let faith carry us, and to believe in the One who gave us life.

Last Saturday, I received one of the most painful calls of my life. My mother told me that my grandfather had passed away. In that moment, my heart broke. Questions flooded my mind: “Why him? Why now? Why us?” I longed for answers. I wanted to understand. But as I turned back to God’s word, I remembered His promises, and I was reminded that death is the one certainty we all face. It is not the end of the soul, but a passage from this life to the next.

The book of Ecclesiastes tells us: “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). This verse comforts me because it reminds me that while I may not understand why Tatay had to leave now, I can trust that God’s plan is always perfect, even when it feels painful.

Letting go is never easy. Dylan Thomas once wrote to his father, “Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Do not go gentle into that good night.” And isn’t that true? Deep inside, all of us want to resist death. We want to keep those we love close, to hold them just a little longer, to have one more day, one more conversation, one more moment. But as Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Life and death are not ours to control; they are in God’s hands.

What we can hold onto, however, is Tatay’s life—his love, his legacy, his example. Because what matters most is not how long we live, but how well we live. Not the number of our years, but the depth of the love we gave and received. The most important part of life is what happens in between—between birth and death, between the first breath and the last.

For me, Tatay was more than a grandfather. He was my second father. He gave me my first name. He raised me when my parents could not. He filled the empty spaces of my childhood with love, protection, and guidance. He was the man who made sure I felt cared for when life seemed uncertain. His love was not just spoken—it was shown, day by day, in the way he looked after me.

I will forever be grateful to him. He molded me into the person I am today. He showed me that even when life feels difficult, love is enough to carry us through. He gave me memories I will treasure for as long as I live—memories of his care, his strength, his quiet sacrifices.

And so today, as we lay him to rest, I hold on to two things: gratitude and hope. Gratitude for the life he lived, for the love he gave, for the role he played in shaping me. And hope—hope in the promise that this is not the end. Because we believe that the soul lives on, that death is not defeat but a doorway. One day, by God’s mercy, we will see him again.

Tatay, thank you—for everything. Thank you for stepping in when I was most vulnerable. Thank you for loving me as your own, when others could not. Thank you for being my protector, my guide, and my source of strength. You were God’s gift to me, and I will carry your love in my heart forever.

Goodbye, Tatay. Rest now in the peace of our Lord. You have fulfilled your purpose. You have run your race. And though we grieve your absence, we celebrate your life. Your legacy will live on in me, and in everyone here whose life you touched.

Author: Jayson

Note: When I saw my pains in the mirror, God spoke to me through the life of David...

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Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me

                                                            Psalms 51:10

As I gazed at myself in the mirror, I realized I was no longer the same person I once was. Life had grown complicated, and the weight of problems seemed too heavy to carry. One burden followed another, and I often wondered how much longer I could endure. My patience had grown thin, and I found myself angered by the smallest things. The smile that used to light my face was gone, replaced by weariness. The heart that once longed deeply for God was now clouded with pain and sorrow. I had fallen into sin, and in my weakness, I felt as though I was lying helpless in the mud—wounded, with a heart bleeding.

Seeking comfort, I opened my tablet and turned to my soft Bible, landing on the book of II Samuel, chapter 11. There, I was reminded of the life of David—the man after God’s own heart. He was a great king, beloved by the Lord, a man who feared, obeyed, and worshiped Him. Yet this chapter did not highlight David’s greatness; instead, it revealed his weakness and wickedness.

It spoke of how David sinned by sleeping with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. In an attempt to cover his sin, he summoned Uriah home, hoping he would sleep with his wife and hide the truth of her pregnancy. But Uriah’s loyalty to Israel kept him from doing so. Desperate, David commanded Joab to place Uriah at the frontlines of the fiercest battle, ensuring his death. Afterward, David took Bathsheba as his wife. What David had done greatly displeased the Lord. Through the prophet Nathan, God rebuked him, and as punishment, the child born from Bathsheba died.

What struck me most was not only David’s sin but his response to God’s judgment. He acknowledged his wickedness, confessed his guilt, and sought forgiveness. He fasted and wept for seven days, and even in his grief, he worshiped the Lord. In Psalm 51:10, he cried, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” God heard his prayer. He forgave David and blessed him and Bathsheba with another son, Solomon, who would later become one of Israel’s greatest kings.

Reading this reminded me of an important truth: every person has a sinful side. Even the greatest men of faith were not free from weakness. But God’s mercy is greater than our failures. Like a loving Father, He disciplines us not to destroy us but to correct and restore us. In Ezekiel 18:21, the Lord says, “Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.” His mercy is everlasting, and His desire is always to bring us back into His embrace.

Now, I find myself praying for the same renewal David sought. I long for God to cleanse my heart and restore my spirit. I want to once again feel the joy of His presence—the same joy I experienced when I first encountered His love. I want to dance before Him with gladness, with a heart overflowing with gratitude.

Today, I hold on to His promises. I believe that just as He forgave David, He is calling me to repentance so that I may be restored. He knows my sins, yet He is willing to forgive because I am His child—chosen, loved, and redeemed. In His mercy, I believe He is shaping me, correcting me, and preparing me to walk once again in the light of His presence.

By: Arjay Amaneo

Mamuhay kayong may buong kapakumbabaan at kaamuan na may pagtitiis. Magbatahan kayo sa isa't isa sa pag-ibig. Pagsikapan ninyong panatilihin ang pagkakaisa ng Espiritu sa buklod na kapayapaan.

Mga Taga-Efeso 4:2-3 (Ang Salita ng Diyos)

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Matagal na silang mag asawa, matagal ng nagsasama at marami na silang pinagdaanan. Gaya ng ordinaryong magkatipan dumanas din sila ng matinding pagsubok, mga ups and downs ng buhay kumbaga. Isang araw, nagkaroon sila ng alitan. Isang bangayan na sabihin na nating mauuwi na yata sa hiwalayan. Masyadong na dismaya si Andy, habang si Netty ay galit na galit.

Isang linggo din silang hindi nag uusap pagkatapos ng away na iyon. Nagbabaka sakali si Andy na huhupa din ang galit ng kanyang asawa. Pagsapit ng ikapitong araw, nilapitan ni Andy ang asawa at binigyan ito na papel at bolpen. Iminungkahi niya sa asawa na sabay nilang isulat sa papel ang kanilang mga saloobin, pagkatapos ay magpapalitan sila ng papel at pag-usapan kung ano man ang ugat ng kanilang di pagkaka intindihan.

Pagkatapos ng dalawampung minuto, nagtinginan ang mag asawa at nang magpalit na sila ng papel, binasa ni Andy ang sulat ng asawa. Ang nilalaman ng papel na iyon ay ang mga hinanakit ni Netty kay Andy, puno ng poot ang kanyang puso at sinabi pa niya sa sulat na sana ay mamatay na ito.

Nang si Netty na ang bumasa sa sulat ni Andy para sa kanya, nahiya siya sa sarili, umiyak, pinunit ang papel at tinapon ito. Sa papel ni Andy isinulat niya sa dalawang pahina ng bond paper:

“Mahal na Mahal kita Netty”

I stumbled on one of the video's posted in the Cutting Edge Facebook page and I was blessed. I thought, it would be best to share this to you as well. Let us learn and be blessed on Richard St. John's 8 to be Great.

Disclaimer: This blog does not take ownership on this video. If you are the owner of this video and does not wish to post this in our site, please send us an email at king_sky92@yahoo.com and we will delete this video right away. 
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jufn7QoP9VU

Author: Jayson Patalinghug
Sources: Holy Bible, http://en.wikipedia.org,http://www.heartlight.org
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I have read the articles about the thermometer and the thermostat before, but today God spoke to me and I began to see my Christian life through these scientific instruments.

A thermometer is an instrument coined from the greek word thermo which means “warm” and meter which means “to measure” thus a thermometer is an instrument used to measure temperature using a variety of principles. This instrument has a sensor which detects the temperature of a certain room, so when you place a thermometer in a room that has a temperature of 180 degrees, the thermometer will change its temperature into 180 degrees as well, based on the room temperature.

A thermostat is also an instrument that can detect temperature. The word thermostat was coined from the word thermos which means “hot” and statos which means “standing”. The only difference between a thermometer and a thermostat is that the thermostat does  not change temperature when placed into a room, instead it controls the temperature of the room. When the thermostat is set to 100 degrees and it is placed in a room that has a temperature of 190 degrees, the room will then change its temperature to 100 degrees based on the setpoint temperature of the thermostat.

In our Christian life, we have to identify ourselves. Are we a thermometer? Or are we a thermostat? One tells the conditions sourounding it while the other makes a difference in those conditions in the environment which it is located. I personally said to myself, it is hard to become a thermostat and influence the people aroound you but it is easy to tell what kind of people are there in your soroundings and conform to their norm. A young Christian might try to smoke or drink liqours in order to become a part of a group. Others might gossip and back bite because it is a normal thing that his/her friends do. It is easier to conform just to be accepted in the society rather than to do what is what right and influence them. Christians like us are not meant to conform to the world because God called us to make a difference in the world. The Holy Bible says in the book of Matthew chapter 5 verses 13 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men."  Salt gives flavor to what it touches, it preserves many things from decay. We are meant to become like a salt that preserves the world from decaying, we are meant to change the world. We are called to become like a thermostat and not just a thermometer.

In the book of Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 to 23 Apostle Paul remided us  that we have the fruit of the holy Spirit flowing through us so we can demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. He is reminding us that we are thermostat and not just a thermometer.

In the book of 1^st Timothy chapter 4 verses 12, Paul said to Timothy “Let no one look down at you because you are young, but set example for the believers in your speech, love, faithfullness and purity” It was a reminder to Timothy that he can be a difference-maker in the lives of others even in his young age. Again, we are called to become a thermostat and not a thermometer.

With God’s help we can be the a salt of the world; we can make a difference and be an example to both believers and non-believers; we can demonstrate the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives; we can change the atmosphere where we find ourselves. It is not hard to be like thermometer. However as Christians we are called to become like a themostat and make a positive difference in community where we are.

Author: Jayson Patalinghug
Source: Holy Bible , Feasts of Israel by Christ Centered Mall Ministry
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“Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops, then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim with new wine.”

                                                                                  -Proverbs 3:9-10

I have been a Christian for 7 years already and it is not my first time to celebrate thanks giving Sunday. However today is different, God spoke unto my heart and revealed to me the secret to everlasting bounty.

I thought thanks giving day is all about fellowship with glamorous presentations, I thought it is all about bringing food into the church then everybody will feast on it.  I thought that is just about it. I never thought that this could be a secret for an overflowing wealth as the Holy Bible promised.

In the Old Testament the Lord commanded his people to hold feasts in His honor. The Lord has carefully planned the timing and sequence of each of these feasts to reveal us a special story. These feasts were intended to be a time of meeting between God and man. There were seven feasts that God has ordered and each of them carries great sacredness and solemnity.

I am not a preacher or a master of the Holy Bible; I just jot down the verses our pastor gave during his sermons and research on them further. Since the church is celebrating the First Fruit Sunday in commemoration of God’s command so I looked into its significance to our lives as Christians. Why do we need to celebrate feasts that are not ours? What good could it bring to us?

In Leviticus chapter 23 verses 10, it says about the Lord’s promise to the people of Israel, a promise of a bountiful land, together with that promise is a command that they should bring the sheaf of the first fruits of their harvest unto the priests. When God accepted the first fruits, they became the guarantee that the rest of the crop would indeed be harvested and be a blessing (Romans 11:16). In the New Testament apostle Paul said “But now is Christ risen from the dead and become the first fruits of them that slept” (I Corinthians 15:20).

As God spoke to me through His words, I understand that we have to celebrate the feast of the first fruits for two reasons; first to remember that God offered the life of His precious son Jesus as first fruit in order for us to have salvation; second, we have to offer our wealth and give back to the Lord what is rightfully His, and in this way we can claim His promise of overflowing bounty (Proverbs 3:9-10).

I have never fully understand the scripture until now, today I am not able to offer the first fruit of my wealth, but I made sure to offer my talent back to the one who created everything in this world. Moving forward, I made a vow that once in every year; I will celebrate the feast of the first fruit in remembrance of my saviour and in order for me to claim God’s living promises in my life.

Author: Jayson Patalinghug

Email: king_sky92@yahoo.com

Source: http://ichocomyself.wordpress.com

Video: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1464122359248

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"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven"

                                                                            Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Ang Papel sa Pangandoy" is a cebuano term for "The Paper of Aspiration". It is a short film directed by my friend and classmate Doris Ogdoc. The film was about a Christian girl who had great aspirations in life. She constantly reminded herself of these aspirations by writing them on a piece of paper and post it on the wall of her room.   She worked at the call center at the same time pursue her studies. She would do everything, just to reach her dreams. However, like all other Christians, She was fragile and vulnerable. She went on club hopping, learned how to smoke and party with her peers in the call center. As a result, her studies had been neglected and her Christian life had become weak. At the end of the story, God talked to her in the image of her sister who suffered a miserable life because of disobedience. She came back kneeling on God's presence and started to write again her aspirations in a piece of paper.

In our Christian life we are like a season that changes through time. Sometimes hot and sometimes cold. Even though how much we say we love Him and promise to obey Him, there is always a time which is most of the time, that we turn against our promises and walk on our own path away from God. However, even if we failed Him several times, God is always the same. He never forsake us and He fulfill His promises in our lives. He is always at our side, constantly reminding us, reaching for our hands and leading us back to the path of eternal life. 

I am thankful that I have known Jesus Christ in my life. When I was in High School, suffering from poverty, He talked to me through a missionary pastor. He prophesied in the congregation, that I could finish my studies and become great in the future. It was hard to believe, because we even ate only once or twice a day and my parents could not afford to send me to a decent school.  But my faith was strong and every time I talked to Him, I always claim that promise. In ways I cannot explain, I was able to finish college with flying colors and was able to get a job right after graduation. I thanked God for I knew His power was working in my life. Years after, I had been open to the world, I became weak and gave in to the call of my flesh. I have sinned and was so ashamed to come back in God's presence. 

His promise is not yet complete in my life and I know what hinders it from happening. It is because I have changed, I became a hypocrite before God. But it is not too late, change is just a normal thing for humans. Like the verse says "There is time for everything" and now is the time that begin to use my craft for His glory and Thank Him for not leaving me. It is now about time to come back in His presence and start claiming for his Living Promises.

Author: Unkown

Source: Unknown

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It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

By: Jayson Patalinghug

email: king_sky92@yahoo.com

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May mga kasama tayo sa simbahan na natatakot harapin ang kanilang pagkatao. Natatakot na di matanggap ng lipunan at ng simbahang naging alipin ng doctrina at baluktot na paniniwala.

Ano nga ba ang responsibilidad natin bilang mga Kristyano? Sinasara ba natin ang ating pang-unawa sa mga taong hinahanap ang kanilang sarili? o Iniintindi natin sila at ginagabayan upang matutunan nilang tanggapin ang sariling pagkatao at maglingkod sa Diyos na walang pag kukunwari?

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Tumulo ang aking luha habang hawak hawak ko ang isang diary na naglalaman ng isang masakit na katotohonan, ang pagpatay ko sa sarili kong anak.

Ika labing siyam na kaarawan niya noon ng di namin maintindihan ang kilos niya, balisa siya at para bang may bumabagabag. Hindi kami sanay na ganoon ang kinikilos ng aming bunso sapagkat napaka masayahing bata ni Fredo. Nag aaral siya ng kursong theology sa Christian Foundation of Cebu. Bata pa lamang siya ay kaagapay na namin silang dalawa ng kuya Jason niya sa simbahan. Pastor kasi ang aking asawa at ako naman ang nangangasiwa sa women’s ministry. Ang panganay kong anak na si Jason ang siyang nangangasiwa sa music ministry, maganda kasi ang boses nito at magaling pang tumugtog ng gitara at piano. Si Fredo naman ay nasa children’s ministry, nagtuturo siya ng Sunday school sa mga bata. Kumakanta din siya kasama ng kuya Jason niya tuwing Sunday service. Magkasundong magkasundo silang dalawa sa lahat ng bagay at lagi silang masaya. Sinusuportahan ni Jason ang kapatid kahit bat hindi sila magkatulad na mahilig sa sports. Mas gusto kasi ni Fredo ang magsulat kesa maglaro.

“Fredo anak..halika labas ka na diyan, handa na ang mesa. Ikaw nalang hinihintay” anyaya ko sa kanya habang kinakatok ko ng marahan ang kanyang pintuan.

“Ma susunod na ako..magbibihis lang ako saglit” tugon naman niya.

“Oh sige anak, bilisan mo ha at may supresa kami sa iyo” sabi ko habang pababa na ako patungong sala kung saan nandun ang buong pamilya. May surpresa kasi kami para kay Fredo, binili namin siya ng bagong Amazon kindle “e-book reader”. Inorder pa yun ng papa niya sa America, matagal na nya kasing pangarap ang gadget na yun.

Tatlumpong minuto pa ang nagdaan at di pa rin siya lumabas. Pinuntahan na siya ng kuya niya sa kwarto at ilang minuto lang ay lumabas na sila. Bagong paligo si Fredo at nakabihis, suot nya ang polo shirt na regalo ko sa kanya nung pasko ko at nga rolex na relo na bigay naman ng papa niya nung nakaraang kaarawan niya.

“Happy Birthday!” sabayang bati namin sa kanya habang pababa sila ni Jason ng hagdanan. Ngumiti lang siya at tumingin sa amin.. walang imik.

“Oh, bakit naman parang malungkot ang aking bunso?” tanong ng papa nya.

“Di naman po, medyo napagod lang ako kanina sa school.” Tugon niya sabay bitaw ng pilit na ngiti.

“Oh siya wag ka nang malungkot at heto may regalo kami sayo!” sabay abot ng ama sa isang box na nakabalot sa pulang papel.

“Buksan mo agad anak at sigurado akong matutuwa ka nyan.” Sabi ko na sabik makita ang reaksyon niya.

Binuksan ni Fredo ang kahon at lumiwanag ang kanyang mukha sa nakita “Wow! Amazon kindle! Para sa akin po eto?” masayang tanong ni Fredo sa amin.

“syempre! Di ba last year mo pa gustong magkaroon ng ganyan?” sagot ng ama.

“salamat po pa, ma!” lumapit siya sa amin at niyakap niya kami nga mahigpit. Ewan ko bah parang kakaiba ang yakap niyang iyon. Puno ng damdamin, iba sa karaniwan niyang yakap sa amin. Marahil dala ng matinding kagalakan.

“ehem ehem...magseselos na ako nyan kapag di mo bubuksan itong regalo ko sayo” sambit ni Jason na may tonong pagtatampo..pero syempre paglalambing lang iyon...malambing kasi si Jason sa bunso niya.

“ah kuya, may regalo ka rin para sa akin?” tanong ni Fredo na nakangisi.

“syempre, kelan ba ako walang regalo sa birthday mo ha?” sagot naman nitong medyo pasigaw, pero nakangiti pa rin.

“Oh hala sige, buksan mo na rin regalo ng kuya mo at baka magtampo pa iyan” sabi ko kay Fredo. Agad nya namang kinuha ang regalo ng kuya at binuksan. Isang Diary na kulay blue at sa loob may naksulat:

“Pasa sa utol kong makata..isulat mo dito ang mga pangarap mo.

-kuya Jason-“

Walang imik si Fredo ngunit mamasa masa na ang mga mata nito at yumakap sa kapatid. Yumakap na rin kami sa kanila at nag Family hug. Ang saya namin nung gabing iyon.

“Ano di pa ba tayo kakain?” tanong ko sa kanilang nakangiti.

“Oo nga pala gutom na ako sa kahihintay nitong makata kong kapatid, tara kain na tayo!” sabay tawa at nag akbayan na ang magkapatid patungong hapag kainan.

Nang nasa hapag na kami, nagdasal muna ang asawa ko bago namin pinagsaluhan ang masarap na pochero, lechon kawali at pancit na hinanda ko. Paborito kasi yun ng mga anak namin. Syempre may birthday cake din.

Masaya kaming nag kukwentuhan habang kumakain ng bigla na lamang tumahimik si Fredo.

“Anak, ano ba problema at natahimik ka ata nang bigla?” tanong ko sa kanya. Di siya sumagot, patuloy lang sa pagkain. Ilang minuto nagtanong siya.

“Ma, pa.. may itatanong ako sa inyo sana po wag kayong magagalit.” Malumanay nyang tan
ong sa amin.

“tol, parang seryoso ka ata dyan ah... nakabuntis ka ba?” sabay ngisi ng kapatid.

“Eh di pakasalan! Ano bang problema dun? Lalaki ka anak at natural lamang na may ma inlove sa iyong babae.” Sambat naman ng ama.

“Diyos ko! Ano ba yang pinagsasabi ninyo? Tandaan nyong hindi kagustuhan ng panginoon ang mga bagay na iyan.” Sabat ko naman sa usapan.

“Eh kaya nga pakasalan eh para di na maging imorral! At least sigurado tayong di bakla ang anak natin.” Pangising biro ng ama.

“Sabagay, may punto kayo. Wala yata akong anak na bakla!” sagot ko naman. “Oh anak ano ba yang tanong mo? Wag mo na kaming intindihin, biro lang iyon pero sana di ganun ang tanong mo..joke! ehehe” pabiro ko namang tanong kay Fredo.

Tumahimik lang ito at binitiwan ang isang pilit na ngiti. “ah wala po ma..itatanong ko lang sana kung...(tahimik)...kung pwede na akong maunang matulog. Nahihilo po kasi ako eh. Mahinang sabi ni Fredo.

“May sakit ka anak? Uminom ka ng gamot bago ka pumasok sa kwarto at matulog” sabi ko naman.

“Di na po, pagod lang ako... ipapahinga ko lang ito. Basta ma, pa, kuya.. tandaan nyo mahal na mahal ko kayo at masaya ako sa kaarawan kong ito.” Tumayo siya at isa isa kaming niyakap at hinagkan sa pisngi.

Ewan ko ba...kakaiba talaga ang mga yakap niyang iyon pero di ko nalang inintindi. Umakyat na siya sa kwarto pagktapos kumain. Si Jason naman at ang ama niya ay nag videoke muna sa sala habang nililigpit ko ang aming kinainan.

Kinaumagahan, ginising ko si Fredo kasi parang nasarapan sa tulog at maleleyt pa ata. Kumatok ako ng kumatok ngunit walang tumugon. Mga sampung minuto na rin akong kumakatok kaya medyo kinabahan na ako.

“Pa...pa..pa! halika dalhin mo susi sa kwarto ni Fredo...baka may nangyari na sa kanya! Sumisigaw na ako sa pag alala....dali dali namang tumakbo paakyat ang asawa ko at si Jason. Bakas sa kanilang mukha ang matinding pag alala. Agad na binuksan namin ang kwarto at di ako halos makakilos sa aking nakita. Napako naman sa kinatayuan ang aking asawa at si Jason ay agad tumakbo palapit sa bankay na nakabitin sa kesame.

“Tol..tol..bakit? huhu...”umiiyak si Jason habang dali dali nyang pinutol ang lubid at inihiga ang kapatid sa kama. “tooooooollllllllll....huhuhuhuuhuhuhuhu

Di ko maintindihan ang aking naramdaman at parang sasabog ang aking dibdib. Dahan dahan akong lumapit sa walang buhay na katawan ng aking bunso. Umiiyak, di makapaniwala sa aking nakita. Nang papalapit na, humagulohol na ako ng iyak.. sumunod din ang aking asawa na parang batang umiiyak. Di ko maintindihan kung bakit nya iyon ginawa.

Sa ibabaw ng drawer niya nakalagay ang I-Pad na regalo namin sa kanya at katabi nun ang diary na regalo ng kanyang kuya. Tiningnan ko ang I-Pad, nkabukas iyon at may naka download na e-book. Tiningnan ko ang pamagat ng libro “Tol...I love You by Mike Juha” Isang libro tungkol sa pag-iibigan ng dalawang lalaki.  Binuksan ko ang diary at may nakasulat dito...

Sa mahal kong Pamilya,

            Wala na akong mahihiling pa sa Diyos dahil binigyan niya ako ng isang mabait at mapagmahal na magulang. Hayan pa ang kapatid kong sobrang mahal din ako. Gagawin ko ang lahat para lang mapasaya kayo at pangako kong di ko kayo madidisappoint. Ngunit ma at pa..may sekreto akong matagal ko nang tinatago sa inyo. Natatakot akong ma disapoint kayo sa akin  at baka ikahiya sa ibang tao. Alam kong di nyo matatanggap na may anak kayong lalaki din ang hanap. Di ko ginusto ang aking nararamdaman at matagal ko na rin itong nilabanan. Mahirap, masakit dahil di ko kayang ipakita ang totoong ako at di ko malayang magawa ang mga nais ko sapagkat nakatali ako sa prinisipyo ng ating relihiyon. Natatakot akong mapunta sa empyerno at ayaw ko rin na ako ang maging dahilan ng kaguluhan sa pamilya. Ma at pa, litong lito na po ako...marami akong katanungan ngunit wala akong mahanap na sagot, wala akong masabihan sa takot na layuan ako ng aking mga kaibigan. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko at nakikita kong di rin ninyo ako kayang maintindihan. Napakabigat ng aking mundo...lalo nat walang nakakaintidi sa akin...sobrang bigat na hindi ko na kaya...The world is too much for me to bear!

            Ma at Pa, pasensya na po at di ko na maipagpatuloy ang inyong mga pangarap sa akin. Pasensya na at di ako naging matatag...Sana po sa aking pagpanaw may mabubuksan na isipan at may mga katanungan na mabibigyan ng sagot.

Kuya Jason,

            Salamat sa diary kuya..ito ang pinaka magandang bagay na bigay mo sa akin. Dahil dito, naisulat ko ang aking mga pangarap. Sa mga sumusunod na pahina, isinulat ko ang aking likhang nobela. Iyan ang pangarap ko.

Ma, Pa at kuya, sana mapatawad nyo ako sa aking ginawang paglisan!


                                                            Nagmamahal,
                                                           Wilfred

Parang dinurog ang puso ko sa aking nabasa, tumulo ang aking luha habang hawak hawak ko ang isang diary na naglalaman ng isang masakit na katotohonan, ang pagpatay ko sa sarili kong anak.

Matagal ko nang napupuna na iba ang aking anak ngunit di ko ito pinansin. Tungkulin ko bilang isang ina na gabayan ang aking mga anak, ngunit nabigo ako. Wala ako sa mga panahong gustong ibuhos ng bunso ko ang sakit na nadarama niya. Wala ako upang upang gabayan siya sa kanyang pinagdaraanan. Napahagulhol nalang ako at parang mawalan na ako ng lakas.

Si Jason naman ay sobrang hinagpis ang nadama. Sinisi ang sarili dahil sa biro nito sa kapatid nung nakaraang gabi. Ngunit niyakap siya ng ama..

“wala kang kasalanan anak...kami ang may pagkukulang. Di namin kayo nagabayan ng mabuti.” Humaguhol na rin ang aking asawa... napuno ng kalungkutan ang aming bahay at parang nawalan na kami ng pag asa... Ngnunit naalala ko ang sabi ni Fredo, na sana sa kanyang paglisan may mga katanungan na mabibigyan ng kasagutan..hahanapin ko ang sagot at hindi ko hahayaang mangyari ang ganito sa natitira kong anak.