Good Bye Tatay!

by Jayson

Photos credited to Ryan Cardone

Life can be compared to swimming in the ocean. Even if I know how to swim and I am confident that I can jump to the waves at the right time – sometimes when I least it expect it, I find my self drowning, spinning under the waves with my mouth full of sands. If I fight against the waves, it would be difficult for me to surface, but if I float with the current, I come right to the top. However, floating while afraid is difficult. It requires trust and faith in order to survive. Dealing with death of a love one is similar. In order to cope, I need to stregnthen my faith and put my trust to the one who gave us life.

Last Saturday my mom phoned me and told me that my grandfather had died already. The man who took care of me when I was young; the man who gave me my first name; the man who showered me with so much love when my parents failed to give it to me. At that moment, I asked myself “why?” I want answers. “Why is this happening? why me? What did I do to deserve this?”. As soon as I remember to trust His plan in my life – I found it easier to discover the answer to my questions. Death is the only thing in life that comes with a 100% guarantee. I should have realized that though our bodies are mortal, all human beings are eternal. Our soul will not die. Our spirit – the essence of who we are will live forever. The bible said in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verses  11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

It is not easy when you see someone dear to you drawing near into that good night. In the poem written by Dylan Thomas to his dying father he said “Rage Rage against the dying of the light! Do not go gentle into that good night.” As much as possible we would want them to stay, we would want to hold them in our arms. But we all know that there is time for everything under the heaven (Eccleasiastes 3:1). We have no control over life and death and no one can fathom God’s plan in our lives. We might feel all the sorrows and pains of the present but we should always remember that in life, what matters the most are the things that happens in between. The most important are the things that we do, on how we spend our time between our birth and death. The people whom we touched with our simple actions. The friends we made and the families we built.

As I am about to bring him into his resting place, I know that he had served his purpose already. He had molded me to what I am today. He left memories that I would treasure for the rest of my life.

Good bye Tatay….thank you for the love you gave and for taking me as your own when my parents abandoned me.