Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Names of God

Monday, March 14, 2011

Good Bye Tatay!

by Jayson

Photos credited to Ryan Cardone
Life can be compared to swimming in the ocean. Even if I know how to swim and I am confident that I can jump to the waves at the right time – sometimes when I least it expect it, I find my self drowning, spinning under the waves with my mouth full of sands. If I fight against the waves, it would be difficult for me to surface, but if I float with the current, I come right to the top. However, floating while afraid is difficult. It requires trust and faith in order to survive. Dealing with death of a love one is similar. In order to cope, I need to stregnthen my faith and put my trust to the one who gave us life.

Last Saturday my mom phoned me and told me that my grandfather had died already. The man who took care of me when I was young; the man who gave me my first name; the man who showered me with so much love when my parents failed to give it to me. At that moment, I asked myself “why?” I want answers. “Why is this happening? why me? What did I do to deserve this?”. As soon as I remember to trust His plan in my life – I found it easier to discover the answer to my questions. Death is the only thing in life that comes with a 100% guarantee. I should have realized that though our bodies are mortal, all human beings are eternal. Our soul will not die. Our spirit – the essence of who we are will live forever. The bible said in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verses  11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

It is not easy when you see someone dear to you drawing near into that good night. In the poem written by Dylan Thomas to his dying father he said “Rage Rage against the dying of the light! Do not go gentle into that good night.” As much as possible we would want them to stay, we would want to hold them in our arms. But we all know that there is time for everything under the heaven (Eccleasiastes 3:1). We have no control over life and death and no one can fathom God’s plan in our lives. We might feel all the sorrows and pains of the present but we should always remember that in life, what matters the most are the things that happens in between. The most important are the things that we do, on how we spend our time between our birth and death. The people whom we touched with our simple actions. The friends we made and the families we built.

As I am about to bring him into his resting place, I know that he had served his purpose already. He had molded me to what I am today. He left memories that I would treasure for the rest of my life.

Good bye Tatay….thank you for the love you gave and for taking me as your own when my parents abandoned me.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Create In Me A Clean Heart

Author: Jayson
Note: When I saw my pains in the mirror, God spoke to me through the life of David...


Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me
                                                            Psalms 51:10

I was looking at myself at the mirror and noticed that I am no longer the same person I was before. My life became too complicated and everything seems too heavy. Problem came after another and I am no longer sure until when I can carry them on my back. My temper became so limited and I got angry at simple things. The smile that was usualy outlined on my cheeks is no longer there. The heart that before longed for Him is now filled with too much pain and sorrow. I have commited too much sin that I am already lying down in the muddy field with a bloody heart.

I took my tablet and open my soft bible in the book of II Samuel chapter 11. There I was reminded of the life of David, the man before the heart of God. He was a great king and the Lord loved him so dear. He feared the Lord, obeyed the Lord and worshiped the Lord. But this chapter did not tell me how great David was, but it told me how wicked he was. The whole chapter spoke of His wickedness, on how he slept with Batshebah the wife of Uriah. It spoke of his trickery in asking Uriah to go home and sleep with his wife in order to cover the truth that he impregnated Batshebah, but when Uriah did not go home because of his loyalty to Israel, David asked Joab to send Uriah in the frontline of the deadliest battle so he may be smitten and die. After Uriah’s death, David fetched Batshebah to her house and she became his wife. What David did displease the Lord. The Lord spoke to him through the prophet Nathan and he was punished. The Lord killed his son. What strikes me in this story was David’s reaction to the Lord’s punishment. He acknowledged his wickedness and asked for forgiveness. He fasted for 7 days and worshipped the Lord. In one of his psalms he said “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10) God heared his prayer and forgave him. He blessed David and Batshebah another son and called him Solomon.

After reading this, I was reminded that everybody has its wicked side. Everybody is suceptable to sin, even the greatest men of Israel. I was reminded that God is a loving God and He is always at our side reminding us of His great mercy. He is like a father to us, punishing us in order to correct our mistakes. In the book of Ezekiel chapter 18 verses 21 God said to the people of Israel “Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.”. His mercy is indeed everlasting and he reminded me through his words.

Now I am praying that He too would renew a right spirit within me, that I may find my self again in His presence. Once more, I want to feel the great joy of my first love. I want to dance in his presence with overflowing joy in my heart. Lord, right now I am claiming your Living Promise. I know that like David, He is reminding me and is punishing me to correct my mistakes. Like David, He wants me to repent and come back in His presence. He knows what I did and He is willing forgive me because I am His son, He has chosen me and He gave me a promise.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


By: Arjay Amaneo

Mamuhay kayong may buong kapakumbabaan at kaamuan na may pagtitiis. Magbatahan kayo sa isa't isa sa pag-ibig. Pagsikapan ninyong panatilihin ang pagkakaisa ng Espiritu sa buklod na kapayapaan.

Mga Taga-Efeso 4:2-3 (Ang Salita ng Diyos)


Matagal na silang mag asawa, matagal ng nagsasama at marami na silang pinagdaanan. Gaya ng ordinaryong magkatipan dumanas din sila ng matinding pagsubok, mga ups and downs ng buhay kumbaga. Isang araw, nagkaroon sila ng alitan. Isang bangayan na sabihin na nating mauuwi na yata sa hiwalayan. Masyadong na dismaya si Andy, habang si Netty ay galit na galit.

Isang linggo din silang hindi nag uusap pagkatapos ng away na iyon. Nagbabaka sakali si Andy na huhupa din ang galit ng kanyang asawa. Pagsapit ng ikapitong araw, nilapitan ni Andy ang asawa at binigyan ito na papel at bolpen. Iminungkahi niya sa asawa na sabay nilang isulat sa papel ang kanilang mga saloobin, pagkatapos ay magpapalitan sila ng papel at pag-usapan kung ano man ang ugat ng kanilang di pagkaka intindihan.

Pagkatapos ng dalawampung minuto, nagtinginan ang mag asawa at nang magpalit na sila ng papel, binasa ni Andy ang sulat ng asawa. Ang nilalaman ng papel na iyon ay ang mga hinanakit ni Netty kay Andy, puno ng poot ang kanyang puso at sinabi pa niya sa sulat na sana ay mamatay na ito.

Nang si Netty na ang bumasa sa sulat ni Andy para sa kanya, nahiya siya sa sarili, umiyak, pinunit ang papel at tinapon ito. Sa papel ni Andy isinulat niya sa dalawang pahina ng bond paper:

“Mahal na Mahal kita Netty”

Monday, February 14, 2011

Richard St. John: 8 To Be Great

I stumbled on one of the video's posted in the Cutting Edge Facebook page and I was blessed. I thought, it would be best to share this to you as well. Let us learn and be blessed on Richard St. John's 8 to be Great.

Disclaimer: This blog does not take ownership on this video. If you are the owner of this video and does not wish to post this in our site, please send us an email at and we will delete this video right away. 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Thermometers and Thermostats

Author: Jayson Patalinghug
Sources: Holy Bible,,

I have read the articles about the thermometer and the thermostat before, but today God spoke to me and I began to see my Christian life through these scientific instruments.

A thermometer is an instrument coined from the greek word thermo which means “warm” and meter which means “to measure” thus a thermometer is an instrument used to measure temperature using a variety of principles. This instrument has a sensor which detects the temperature of a certain room, so when you place a thermometer in a room that has a temperature of 180 degrees, the thermometer will change its temperature into 180 degrees as well, based on the room temperature.

A thermostat is also an instrument that can detect temperature. The word thermostat was coined from the word thermos which means “hot” and statos which means “standing”. The only difference between a thermometer and a thermostat is that the thermostat does  not change temperature when placed into a room, instead it controls the temperature of the room. When the thermostat is set to 100 degrees and it is placed in a room that has a temperature of 190 degrees, the room will then change its temperature to 100 degrees based on the setpoint temperature of the thermostat.

In our Christian life, we have to identify ourselves. Are we a thermometer? Or are we a thermostat? One tells the conditions sourounding it while the other makes a difference in those conditions in the environment which it is located. I personally said to myself, it is hard to become a thermostat and influence the people aroound you but it is easy to tell what kind of people are there in your soroundings and conform to their norm. A young Christian might try to smoke or drink liqours in order to become a part of a group. Others might gossip and back bite because it is a normal thing that his/her friends do. It is easier to conform just to be accepted in the society rather than to do what is what right and influence them. Christians like us are not meant to conform to the world because God called us to make a difference in the world. The Holy Bible says in the book of Matthew chapter 5 verses 13 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men."  Salt gives flavor to what it touches, it preserves many things from decay. We are meant to become like a salt that preserves the world from decaying, we are meant to change the world. We are called to become like a thermostat and not just a thermometer.

In the book of Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 to 23 Apostle Paul remided us  that we have the fruit of the holy Spirit flowing through us so we can demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. He is reminding us that we are thermostat and not just a thermometer.

In the book of 1st Timothy chapter 4 verses 12, Paul said to Timothy “Let no one look down at you because you are young, but set example for the believers in your speech, love, faithfullness and purity” It was a reminder to Timothy that he can be a difference-maker in the lives of others even in his young age. Again, we are called to become a thermostat and not a thermometer.

With God’s help we can be the a salt of the world; we can make a difference and be an example to both believers and non-believers; we can demonstrate the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives; we can change the atmosphere where we find ourselves. It is not hard to be like thermometer. However as Christians we are called to become like a themostat and make a positive difference in community where we are.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Feast of the First Fruits

Author: Jayson Patalinghug
Source: Holy Bible , Feasts of Israel by Christ Centered Mall Ministry

“Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops, then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim with new wine.”
                                                                                  -Proverbs 3:9-10

I have been a Christian for 7 years already and it is not my first time to celebrate thanks giving Sunday. However today is different, God spoke unto my heart and revealed to me the secret to everlasting bounty.

I thought thanks giving day is all about fellowship with glamorous presentations, I thought it is all about bringing food into the church then everybody will feast on it.  I thought that is just about it. I never thought that this could be a secret for an overflowing wealth as the Holy Bible promised.

In the Old Testament the Lord commanded his people to hold feasts in His honor. The Lord has carefully planned the timing and sequence of each of these feasts to reveal us a special story. These feasts were intended to be a time of meeting between God and man. There were seven feasts that God has ordered and each of them carries great sacredness and solemnity.

I am not a preacher or a master of the Holy Bible; I just jot down the verses our pastor gave during his sermons and research on them further. Since the church is celebrating the First Fruit Sunday in commemoration of God’s command so I looked into its significance to our lives as Christians. Why do we need to celebrate feasts that are not ours? What good could it bring to us?

In Leviticus chapter 23 verses 10, it says about the Lord’s promise to the people of Israel, a promise of a bountiful land, together with that promise is a command that they should bring the sheaf of the first fruits of their harvest unto the priests. When God accepted the first fruits, they became the guarantee that the rest of the crop would indeed be harvested and be a blessing (Romans 11:16). In the New Testament apostle Paul said “But now is Christ risen from the dead and become the first fruits of them that slept” (I Corinthians 15:20).

As God spoke to me through His words, I understand that we have to celebrate the feast of the first fruits for two reasons; first to remember that God offered the life of His precious son Jesus as first fruit in order for us to have salvation; second, we have to offer our wealth and give back to the Lord what is rightfully His, and in this way we can claim His promise of overflowing bounty (Proverbs 3:9-10).

I have never fully understand the scripture until now, today I am not able to offer the first fruit of my wealth, but I made sure to offer my talent back to the one who created everything in this world. Moving forward, I made a vow that once in every year; I will celebrate the feast of the first fruit in remembrance of my saviour and in order for me to claim God’s living promises in my life.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Reviewing "Ang Papel sa Pangandoy"

Author: Jayson Patalinghug

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven"
                                                                            Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Ang Papel sa Pangandoy" is a cebuano term for "The Paper of Aspiration". It is a short film directed by my friend and classmate Doris Ogdoc. The film was about a Christian girl who had great aspirations in life. She constantly reminded herself of these aspirations by writing them on a piece of paper and post it on the wall of her room.   She worked at the call center at the same time pursue her studies. She would do everything, just to reach her dreams. However, like all other Christians, She was fragile and vulnerable. She went on club hopping, learned how to smoke and party with her peers in the call center. As a result, her studies had been neglected and her Christian life had become weak. At the end of the story, God talked to her in the image of her sister who suffered a miserable life because of disobedience. She came back kneeling on God's presence and started to write again her aspirations in a piece of paper.

In our Christian life we are like a season that changes through time. Sometimes hot and sometimes cold. Even though how much we say we love Him and promise to obey Him, there is always a time which is most of the time, that we turn against our promises and walk on our own path away from God. However, even if we failed Him several times, God is always the same. He never forsake us and He fulfill His promises in our lives. He is always at our side, constantly reminding us, reaching for our hands and leading us back to the path of eternal life. 

I am thankful that I have known Jesus Christ in my life. When I was in High School, suffering from poverty, He talked to me through a missionary pastor. He prophesied in the congregation, that I could finish my studies and become great in the future. It was hard to believe, because we even ate only once or twice a day and my parents could not afford to send me to a decent school.  But my faith was strong and every time I talked to Him, I always claim that promise. In ways I cannot explain, I was able to finish college with flying colors and was able to get a job right after graduation. I thanked God for I knew His power was working in my life. Years after, I had been open to the world, I became weak and gave in to the call of my flesh. I have sinned and was so ashamed to come back in God's presence. 

His promise is not yet complete in my life and I know what hinders it from happening. It is because I have changed, I became a hypocrite before God. But it is not too late, change is just a normal thing for humans. Like the verse says "There is time for everything" and now is the time that begin to use my craft for His glory and Thank Him for not leaving me. It is now about time to come back in His presence and start claiming for his Living Promises.

It is Nice to Know...

Author: Unkown
Source: Unknown

It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Ang Mga Pangarap ni Fredo

By: Jayson Patalinghug
May mga kasama tayo sa simbahan na natatakot harapin ang kanilang pagkatao. Natatakot na di matanggap ng lipunan at ng simbahang naging alipin ng doctrina at baluktot na paniniwala.

Ano nga ba ang responsibilidad natin bilang mga Kristyano? Sinasara ba natin ang ating pang-unawa sa mga taong hinahanap ang kanilang sarili? o Iniintindi natin sila at ginagabayan upang matutunan nilang tanggapin ang sariling pagkatao at maglingkod sa Diyos na walang pag kukunwari?
Tumulo ang aking luha habang hawak hawak ko ang isang diary na naglalaman ng isang masakit na katotohonan, ang pagpatay ko sa sarili kong anak.

Ika labing siyam na kaarawan niya noon ng di namin maintindihan ang kilos niya, balisa siya at para bang may bumabagabag. Hindi kami sanay na ganoon ang kinikilos ng aming bunso sapagkat napaka masayahing bata ni Fredo. Nag aaral siya ng kursong theology sa Christian Foundation of Cebu. Bata pa lamang siya ay kaagapay na namin silang dalawa ng kuya Jason niya sa simbahan. Pastor kasi ang aking asawa at ako naman ang nangangasiwa sa women’s ministry. Ang panganay kong anak na si Jason ang siyang nangangasiwa sa music ministry, maganda kasi ang boses nito at magaling pang tumugtog ng gitara at piano. Si Fredo naman ay nasa children’s ministry, nagtuturo siya ng Sunday school sa mga bata. Kumakanta din siya kasama ng kuya Jason niya tuwing Sunday service. Magkasundong magkasundo silang dalawa sa lahat ng bagay at lagi silang masaya. Sinusuportahan ni Jason ang kapatid kahit bat hindi sila magkatulad na mahilig sa sports. Mas gusto kasi ni Fredo ang magsulat kesa maglaro.

“Fredo anak..halika labas ka na diyan, handa na ang mesa. Ikaw nalang hinihintay” anyaya ko sa kanya habang kinakatok ko ng marahan ang kanyang pintuan.

“Ma susunod na ako..magbibihis lang ako saglit” tugon naman niya.

“Oh sige anak, bilisan mo ha at may supresa kami sa iyo” sabi ko habang pababa na ako patungong sala kung saan nandun ang buong pamilya. May surpresa kasi kami para kay Fredo, binili namin siya ng bagong Amazon kindle “e-book reader”. Inorder pa yun ng papa niya sa America, matagal na nya kasing pangarap ang gadget na yun.

Tatlumpong minuto pa ang nagdaan at di pa rin siya lumabas. Pinuntahan na siya ng kuya niya sa kwarto at ilang minuto lang ay lumabas na sila. Bagong paligo si Fredo at nakabihis, suot nya ang polo shirt na regalo ko sa kanya nung pasko ko at nga rolex na relo na bigay naman ng papa niya nung nakaraang kaarawan niya.

“Happy Birthday!” sabayang bati namin sa kanya habang pababa sila ni Jason ng hagdanan. Ngumiti lang siya at tumingin sa amin.. walang imik.

“Oh, bakit naman parang malungkot ang aking bunso?” tanong ng papa nya.

“Di naman po, medyo napagod lang ako kanina sa school.” Tugon niya sabay bitaw ng pilit na ngiti.

“Oh siya wag ka nang malungkot at heto may regalo kami sayo!” sabay abot ng ama sa isang box na nakabalot sa pulang papel.

“Buksan mo agad anak at sigurado akong matutuwa ka nyan.” Sabi ko na sabik makita ang reaksyon niya.

Binuksan ni Fredo ang kahon at lumiwanag ang kanyang mukha sa nakita “Wow! Amazon kindle! Para sa akin po eto?” masayang tanong ni Fredo sa amin.

“syempre! Di ba last year mo pa gustong magkaroon ng ganyan?” sagot ng ama.

“salamat po pa, ma!” lumapit siya sa amin at niyakap niya kami nga mahigpit. Ewan ko bah parang kakaiba ang yakap niyang iyon. Puno ng damdamin, iba sa karaniwan niyang yakap sa amin. Marahil dala ng matinding kagalakan.

“ehem ehem...magseselos na ako nyan kapag di mo bubuksan itong regalo ko sayo” sambit ni Jason na may tonong pagtatampo..pero syempre paglalambing lang iyon...malambing kasi si Jason sa bunso niya.

“ah kuya, may regalo ka rin para sa akin?” tanong ni Fredo na nakangisi.

“syempre, kelan ba ako walang regalo sa birthday mo ha?” sagot naman nitong medyo pasigaw, pero nakangiti pa rin.

“Oh hala sige, buksan mo na rin regalo ng kuya mo at baka magtampo pa iyan” sabi ko kay Fredo. Agad nya namang kinuha ang regalo ng kuya at binuksan. Isang Diary na kulay blue at sa loob may naksulat:

“Pasa sa utol kong makata..isulat mo dito ang mga pangarap mo.
-kuya Jason-“

Walang imik si Fredo ngunit mamasa masa na ang mga mata nito at yumakap sa kapatid. Yumakap na rin kami sa kanila at nag Family hug. Ang saya namin nung gabing iyon.

“Ano di pa ba tayo kakain?” tanong ko sa kanilang nakangiti.

“Oo nga pala gutom na ako sa kahihintay nitong makata kong kapatid, tara kain na tayo!” sabay tawa at nag akbayan na ang magkapatid patungong hapag kainan.

Nang nasa hapag na kami, nagdasal muna ang asawa ko bago namin pinagsaluhan ang masarap na pochero, lechon kawali at pancit na hinanda ko. Paborito kasi yun ng mga anak namin. Syempre may birthday cake din.

Masaya kaming nag kukwentuhan habang kumakain ng bigla na lamang tumahimik si Fredo.
“Anak, ano ba problema at natahimik ka ata nang bigla?” tanong ko sa kanya. Di siya sumagot, patuloy lang sa pagkain. Ilang minuto nagtanong siya.

“Ma, pa.. may itatanong ako sa inyo sana po wag kayong magagalit.” Malumanay nyang tan
ong sa amin.

“tol, parang seryoso ka ata dyan ah... nakabuntis ka ba?” sabay ngisi ng kapatid.

“Eh di pakasalan! Ano bang problema dun? Lalaki ka anak at natural lamang na may ma inlove sa iyong babae.” Sambat naman ng ama.

“Diyos ko! Ano ba yang pinagsasabi ninyo? Tandaan nyong hindi kagustuhan ng panginoon ang mga bagay na iyan.” Sabat ko naman sa usapan.

“Eh kaya nga pakasalan eh para di na maging imorral! At least sigurado tayong di bakla ang anak natin.” Pangising biro ng ama.

“Sabagay, may punto kayo. Wala yata akong anak na bakla!” sagot ko naman. “Oh anak ano ba yang tanong mo? Wag mo na kaming intindihin, biro lang iyon pero sana di ganun ang tanong mo..joke! ehehe” pabiro ko namang tanong kay Fredo.

Tumahimik lang ito at binitiwan ang isang pilit na ngiti. “ah wala po ma..itatanong ko lang sana kung...(tahimik)...kung pwede na akong maunang matulog. Nahihilo po kasi ako eh. Mahinang sabi ni Fredo.

“May sakit ka anak? Uminom ka ng gamot bago ka pumasok sa kwarto at matulog” sabi ko naman.
“Di na po, pagod lang ako... ipapahinga ko lang ito. Basta ma, pa, kuya.. tandaan nyo mahal na mahal ko kayo at masaya ako sa kaarawan kong ito.” Tumayo siya at isa isa kaming niyakap at hinagkan sa pisngi.

Ewan ko ba...kakaiba talaga ang mga yakap niyang iyon pero di ko nalang inintindi. Umakyat na siya sa kwarto pagktapos kumain. Si Jason naman at ang ama niya ay nag videoke muna sa sala habang nililigpit ko ang aming kinainan.

Kinaumagahan, ginising ko si Fredo kasi parang nasarapan sa tulog at maleleyt pa ata. Kumatok ako ng kumatok ngunit walang tumugon. Mga sampung minuto na rin akong kumakatok kaya medyo kinabahan na ako.

“! halika dalhin mo susi sa kwarto ni Fredo...baka may nangyari na sa kanya! Sumisigaw na ako sa pag alala....dali dali namang tumakbo paakyat ang asawa ko at si Jason. Bakas sa kanilang mukha ang matinding pag alala. Agad na binuksan namin ang kwarto at di ako halos makakilos sa aking nakita. Napako naman sa kinatayuan ang aking asawa at si Jason ay agad tumakbo palapit sa bankay na nakabitin sa kesame.

“Tol..tol..bakit? huhu...”umiiyak si Jason habang dali dali nyang pinutol ang lubid at inihiga ang kapatid sa kama. “tooooooollllllllll....huhuhuhuuhuhuhuhu

Di ko maintindihan ang aking naramdaman at parang sasabog ang aking dibdib. Dahan dahan akong lumapit sa walang buhay na katawan ng aking bunso. Umiiyak, di makapaniwala sa aking nakita. Nang papalapit na, humagulohol na ako ng iyak.. sumunod din ang aking asawa na parang batang umiiyak. Di ko maintindihan kung bakit nya iyon ginawa.

Sa ibabaw ng drawer niya nakalagay ang I-Pad na regalo namin sa kanya at katabi nun ang diary na regalo ng kanyang kuya. Tiningnan ko ang I-Pad, nkabukas iyon at may naka download na e-book. Tiningnan ko ang pamagat ng libro “Tol...I love You by Mike Juha” Isang libro tungkol sa pag-iibigan ng dalawang lalaki.  Binuksan ko ang diary at may nakasulat dito...

Sa mahal kong Pamilya,

            Wala na akong mahihiling pa sa Diyos dahil binigyan niya ako ng isang mabait at mapagmahal na magulang. Hayan pa ang kapatid kong sobrang mahal din ako. Gagawin ko ang lahat para lang mapasaya kayo at pangako kong di ko kayo madidisappoint. Ngunit ma at pa..may sekreto akong matagal ko nang tinatago sa inyo. Natatakot akong ma disapoint kayo sa akin  at baka ikahiya sa ibang tao. Alam kong di nyo matatanggap na may anak kayong lalaki din ang hanap. Di ko ginusto ang aking nararamdaman at matagal ko na rin itong nilabanan. Mahirap, masakit dahil di ko kayang ipakita ang totoong ako at di ko malayang magawa ang mga nais ko sapagkat nakatali ako sa prinisipyo ng ating relihiyon. Natatakot akong mapunta sa empyerno at ayaw ko rin na ako ang maging dahilan ng kaguluhan sa pamilya. Ma at pa, litong lito na po ako...marami akong katanungan ngunit wala akong mahanap na sagot, wala akong masabihan sa takot na layuan ako ng aking mga kaibigan. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko at nakikita kong di rin ninyo ako kayang maintindihan. Napakabigat ng aking mundo...lalo nat walang nakakaintidi sa akin...sobrang bigat na hindi ko na kaya...The world is too much for me to bear!
            Ma at Pa, pasensya na po at di ko na maipagpatuloy ang inyong mga pangarap sa akin. Pasensya na at di ako naging matatag...Sana po sa aking pagpanaw may mabubuksan na isipan at may mga katanungan na mabibigyan ng sagot.
Kuya Jason,
            Salamat sa diary kuya..ito ang pinaka magandang bagay na bigay mo sa akin. Dahil dito, naisulat ko ang aking mga pangarap. Sa mga sumusunod na pahina, isinulat ko ang aking likhang nobela. Iyan ang pangarap ko.
Ma, Pa at kuya, sana mapatawad nyo ako sa aking ginawang paglisan!


Parang dinurog ang puso ko sa aking nabasa, tumulo ang aking luha habang hawak hawak ko ang isang diary na naglalaman ng isang masakit na katotohonan, ang pagpatay ko sa sarili kong anak.

Matagal ko nang napupuna na iba ang aking anak ngunit di ko ito pinansin. Tungkulin ko bilang isang ina na gabayan ang aking mga anak, ngunit nabigo ako. Wala ako sa mga panahong gustong ibuhos ng bunso ko ang sakit na nadarama niya. Wala ako upang upang gabayan siya sa kanyang pinagdaraanan. Napahagulhol nalang ako at parang mawalan na ako ng lakas.

Si Jason naman ay sobrang hinagpis ang nadama. Sinisi ang sarili dahil sa biro nito sa kapatid nung nakaraang gabi. Ngunit niyakap siya ng ama..

“wala kang kasalanan anak...kami ang may pagkukulang. Di namin kayo nagabayan ng mabuti.” Humaguhol na rin ang aking asawa... napuno ng kalungkutan ang aming bahay at parang nawalan na kami ng pag asa... Ngnunit naalala ko ang sabi ni Fredo, na sana sa kanyang paglisan may mga katanungan na mabibigyan ng kasagutan..hahanapin ko ang sagot at hindi ko hahayaang mangyari ang ganito sa natitira kong anak.

A Gift from God

Author:  Unknown,
 Source: Unknown


One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.

We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Darn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!
Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach ... , but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

Each day is a gift from God! Don't forget to say, "Thank you!"

Fifteen Things God Won’t Ask

Author: Unknown
Source: Unknown

God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.
God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won’t ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
God won’t ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
God won’t ask what your job title was, but will ask if you reformed your job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn’t.